Divorce is undeniably one of the most challenging life experiences. An emotional turbulence, accompanied by legal complexities, and a myriad of decisions that shape your future. In the midst of such a significant life transition, it is not uncommon for individuals to make errors that may have lasting repercussions. Understanding and learning from these common mistakes is crucial for anyone embarking on the challenging path of divorce.

The landscape of divorce has evolved, with the introduction of no-fault divorce law, introduced in April 2022. This change has removed the need to prove blame on the other party and therefore from the outset, look to reduce the acrimony between parties.  Despite this step forward, divorcing couples are still at risk of falling into the pitfalls of divorce. In this article, we delve into the common mistakes to sidestep during divorce proceedings.

Delaying Legal Advice or taking none.
A common mistake individuals make when going through a divorce is delaying seeking legal advice or seeking none at all. Individuals often have a strong desire to handle matters independently and reach an agreement between themselves, but even if parties decide to take this approach, it is still vital to speak with a family solicitor, as early as possible, to learn the process, your rights, the options available to you moving forward and how best to protect your and your family’s interests.

Professional advice is key when reaching and/or agreeing to a financial settlement to ensure that it is fair and safeguards the needs of all parties involved both in the present and in the future. It is a complex matter and only legal professionals will be able to effectively advise you on the outcomes of a settlement and whether it is fair. It is very difficult to undo an agreement that is entered into voluntarily.

Emotion Overruling Reason:
Divorce is naturally emotionally charged. As a result, decisions are often influenced by heightened emotions, which often leads to a more acrimonious divorce, resulting in more stress and upset for both parties, as well as your family. Seeking professional help is essential to navigating the emotional turbulence that comes with divorce. Maintaining an objective approach throughout the process is critical to making rational choices that at the same time align with and protect both your and your children’s interests. A challenging but achievable balance to reach.

Lack of Communication
A primary pitfall in divorce is the breakdown of communication between the parties, which occurs more often than is hoped. However, reasonable, and open communication between parties is key to saving a costly and protracted divorce.

No or incomplete Financial Disclosure:
Financial disclosure of both parties is strongly encouraged when trying to reach a financial order and is a requirement of the court when in financial court proceedings, as fully and frank disclosure is the only way to ensure a fair and just settlement is reached that meets the needs of any children and both of the parties. Without financial disclosure you cannot know whether an agreement reached is fair or not.

Overlooking Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR):
ADR methods, such as mediation, can make a significant difference in keeping matters amicable and resolving disputes outside of the courtroom. ADR, for example, mediation, proves to be cost effective ongoing and helps to preserve the relationship between divorcing parties, which is crucial when there are children involved. ADR is a faster and less stressful approach in comparison to court proceedings and is something that should always be considered.

Going to court should always be a last resort. Individuals want to retain as much control in the decisions as possible, issuing court proceedings limits that control. Issuing proceedings should be a reasoned decision because it is never guaranteed that the court will agree with you. Issuing proceedings should not be a decision that is fueled by ‘wanting your day in court’ because your ex-spouse has treated you unfairly. The court will determine the legal issues only and will make a judgment which is needs based.

Not changing your will
It is important to revise your will or estate plan upon your divorce, to ensure that your true wishes are carried out upon your death.

Involving your children
Divorce is tricky for everyone, including children and there are often mixed emotions by everyone involved. But divorce is not a problem for children to have to worry about or try to understand. Your ex-spouse continues to and will remain the parent of your child even after you are divorced, and your child will continue to love and need them even if you no longer do. It is key to uphold the love and relationship both during and after the divorce.

Underestimating Time Requirements:
Individuals often underestimate the time scales that come with divorce. The divorce process and financial settlement process are separate. The divorce process alone takes 6 months to finalise, but this is often delayed when trying to reach an agreement in respect of both finances and child arrangements. Underestimating timescales can result in panic and individuals feeling they need to rush to reach a financial settlement, and will not seek legal advice, or exchange financial disclosure to ensure they reach a settlement and can finalise the divorce as quickly as possible. This risks leaving the parties with an outcome that is not fair and reasonable. Being aware of the time scales allows parties to approach a legal professional at the right time.

Not getting a financial order
Once a financial agreement has been reached, it is essential to embody that agreement in a consent order. Without this, you may have finalised the divorce process and therefore be legally divorced from your ex-spouse, but without a consent order, you will still have financial obligations to them and will leave yourself open to future financial claims from your ex-spouse at any time. It is always advisable to have any financial settlements reviewed and embodied into a consent order by a family solicitor, even if the agreement is reached at mediation.

Social Media Caution:
Social media is part of our every day, but it is important to refrain from using social media as an outlet for your understandable emotions. Social media posts can be shown to the court and used negatively against you and will only add to difficulties with your spouse during the divorce.

In the challenging landscape of divorce, avoiding these mistakes is key to making the divorce process easier for everyone when entering a new chapter. To avoid falling into these pitfalls, seek legal advice, remain objective, prioritise your children’s well-being, and make informed decisions about your financial needs.